TRIANGLE OF LOVE....
We were learning about love in developmental psychology topic in general. Made even more interesting, (interestinger) by the group of girls discussing it.
The Lubavitchers who believe in love, the Chassidishe girls who trust their parents, the Modern Orthodox ones who trust their friends...
Makes for a great discussion. I'm not really one for the psychological view on love but what we learnt was tres interesting (at the risk of being redundant.)
That triangle pictured on top is supposed to be what a relationship should contain.
1) Passion
2)commitment
3)Intimacy
Sounds quite the mushy thing but it's true, you need to be able to love the person, stay committed to the person and the relationship and have that special connection.
The triangular theory of love characterizes love in an interpersonal relationship on three different scales: intimacy, passion and commitment. It was developed by Robert Sternberg. Different stages and types of love can be explained as different combinations of the three elements, intimacy, passion and commitment. Sternberg states that a relationship based on a single element is less likely to survive than one based on two or more.
posted by Rachel at
8:04 PM
9 Comments:
hm... i never thought love was something that could be taught.
By
Unknown, at 10:05 AM
I'm going to hang this up in our shidduch office!
By
kasamba, at 10:59 AM
Call me vain and aloof, but what's the difference between passion and intimacy?
By
Nemo, at 7:07 PM
Tim- love is not being taught. What is being taught is the components that a relationship should contain to reach its greatest height.
By
Rachel, at 8:59 PM
Nemo- you are neither vain nor aloof. Passion, is the spice in the marriage. Passion is mostly physical, wanting the other person etc. Intimacy is emotional, it is sharing dreams, thoughts, finishing each others sentences, her washing the dishes and you picking up the dishtowel to dry.
By
Rachel, at 9:02 PM
Hehe... so I went around and did a little pole to answer my question about the difference between passion and intimacy. I got so many interesting replies, but not one identical one.
By
Nemo, at 4:09 PM
POLL
By
Nemo, at 8:01 AM
Nu- Nemo, what was the result of you poll?
By
Rachel, at 10:00 PM
I got all sorts of different answers that I can't even remember them.
One that does stand out in my mind:
I see this married guy who I vaguely know. Kinda vague cause I only know him because I vaguely know his younger brother. He was hanging around so I walk right up to him and excitedly ask him if he's married. He was so glad to speak to me and answered excitedly that he was indeed married.
So I popped the question: Difference between intimacy and passion?
Continuing in our little jolly mood he starts explaining without even considering the question for a second. He's replies in the funniest way, "Passion is when you're PASSIONATE about something, and intimate is when you are INTIMATE with your spouse".
I'm like, "Geez man, that was profound"
He continued trying to explain it, but he just kept repeating the same line in a different way, stressing diffferent words, etc. Who would imagine that a little definition would take ten minutes to get and still not even get it. Hey, at least it brught strangers closer together, right?
{on second thought, maybe you had to be there}
By
Nemo, at 10:53 PM
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