Once again a random update...

I don't know what it is that makes me come back here and write. I'm not even sure I have an audience anymore. I just know that something is drawing me here, compelling to write. So it's 11:44 PM, and I am typing as though my life depends on it- perhaps it does.

I could make up some interesting things, put a few funny anecdotes here, and make a funny blog.

I am a funny person- if you knew me in real life, you would think I didn't take things seriously enough. If you got to know me well, you might realize that I take things to seriously.

I started my 4th semester of college tonight. I'm 22 and not even 1/2 way done with my BA. My boss got fired, my job is in limbo- and as usual, my nights are haunted.

You want to know why I don't want to get married. You tell me no one will be left. You tell me to lose weight. You tell me people won't see me, they'll see things they don't like. How can I make someone want me- when even I don't want me?

How can I marry when I don't know what I want. How can I marry someone who believes- when I don't know what I believe? How can I marry someone who doesn't believe, when I don't know what I believe.

All I want is to be free, but the more time goes on, the more traped I feel.
The noose is tightening around my neck, and it's starting to hurt.

I wake up at night flushed, sweaty and with a racing heart. Someone is always trying to kill me in my sleep.
I'd give anything to get away. I'd give anything to start anew. No religion, no obligations. But i'd hate it too.

I'm a grass is always greener person. I'll always be looking over my shoulder, looking, Maybe one day i'll find someone who's searching too.
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Secret of the day:
Whenever I go to movies alone, i'm always wondering if i'll meet some guy who is also at the movies alone. I always wonder if there are other lonely guys out there doing the exact same thing as me.