Complicating my life further...

Monday, July 24, 2006

Cancer, cancer, don't come near.

Cancer has become a part of my life.
It started out with my friends mother being diagnosed with a stem brain tumor, and continued with me taking a job that has something to do with cancer.

Cancer used to be for adults, it never hit close to home. Now words like Medulablastoma, and Neuroblastoma are everyday words. The word ALL (Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia) sends shivers down my spine. I never knew that babies could be born with cancer. Little babies, newborns, not strong enough to pick up their heads, fighting a demon. I know about tumors, different types, I know that anything in the brain is bad, and Leukemia is one of the worst.

There are those that say that if cancer won't kill you, the chemo will. A little boy died today. And the world went on living. I ate my lunch, after logging his death.

Am I cruel, or is the world cruel?

Cancer kills in an inhumane way. It makes you wonder. Only a God could create something so horrific. Makes you wonder how a God could make children suffer. Must children suffer for the sins of their parents?

My little sister has an autoimmune disorder, she gets an injection of a chemo drug once a week. It makes her sick, and it is one little shot. These kids have poisons running through their viens.

A 12 year old is being transferred to hospice. Hospice is for old people. Why do some get to live, and others die.

I've called parents to ask them a question and have had them tell me that their child is no expected to survive the night.

Only a God can engineer such a disaster. Why must the children suffer?

8 Comments:

  • Sounds like you work for an oncologist. I would think that the highs are very high and the lows very low. It's not just a job.

    By Blogger chchick, at 12:54 AM  

  • I guess that the world is cruel not only you. When I finished reading your post I just clicked on the next blog. and I think that everbody is doing tje same

    we are glad it's not us

    By Blogger Chasidic Bochur, at 1:43 PM  

  • i wish i could just click on the next blog and move on.. or maybe i do eventually .. but i dont feel that it doesnt impact me, everytime i hear bad news, every piece of negativity that comes my wya affects me..you have to be really tough and really brave to work in a field like you do..thank g-d there are poeple who can handle it, i admire you, personally i dont think i could do it :(

    By Blogger anonym00kie, at 5:19 PM  

  • I don't work for an oncologist. But that's really all I can say to protect my privacy.

    By Blogger Rachel, at 9:11 PM  

  • My dad just got diagnosed with cancer this week... It's been hell around here. He's the last person in the world to have a tumor.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:38 AM  

  • There is no way to explain it. It is uncomprehendable. Our compassionate and loving G-d sometimes seems to run a mysterious and frightening world...
    I would like to share a story with you that the Lubavitcher Rebbe told:
    A man from the eighteen hundreds walks into a hospital room where an operation is taking place. Inside he sees a man lying on a bed, with his entire body cut open. There is a group of men, holding various different weapons and knives in their hands. They take turns systematically tearing the man apart. He is witnessing the ultimate cruelty.

    Obviously this mans ignorance prevents him from seeing the true scenario. These doctors are not torturing the man, but saving his life. He is just too shortsighted to see the bigger picture.

    We too are blinded by our limitations...

    As a side point- I highly reccomend that you read 'Night' by Elie Wiesel. It is beautiful written, incredibly touching and he has a way of describing pain and suffering in a way that is timeless.

    By Blogger Esther, at 4:05 PM  

  • sigh

    By Blogger ggggg, at 9:33 PM  

  • I don’t expect to find a morally satisfying answer to suffering of the innocent although evolution/survival of the fittest does explain why disease is in competition with its host.

    Yet through it all, we must maintain our moral imperative to be compassionate and caring about the feelings/fate of other of God’s creations.

    I would like to ask your opinion in a mildly related matter. I was wondering your take on mother’s bonding with their children in the olden days when infant mortality was high. See my post at http://shmuzings.blogspot.com/2007/02/grave-situation.html

    By Blogger smoo, at 1:23 PM  

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